So on Thursday Ivy had her 1 year check up (seeing as she’s now 13 months- when did that happen?). It started off pretty rough, with the receptionist giving me a problem because I didn’t tell them when I made the appointment that it was a well baby checkup (a regualr checkup – that’s what my insurance calls it). “And those take more time than sick visits” she tells me “I’ll have to talk to the Dr. to make sure she has time”. That right there kind sums up what’s wrong with our healthcare system no? You mean you have to spend 15 whole minutes with a patient instead of 5?
But I guess the Dr. had 10 extra minutes in her schedule because she agreed to see us. Ivy started off in a bad mood and cried as soon as the nurse tried to weigh her (25.4 lbs) and quickly escalated into a full on episode as her height was taken (I didn’t even catch this number – bad mommy) and by the time the nurse bust out the tape measure to try and measure thher head she was screaming and shaking her head no no no no. Fun!
So she calms down after we get back in the exam room but immediately starts up again when the Dr. comes in. For some reason, she’s alot more laid back with the Dr. we ususally see. In fact shes so wary of this Dr she can;t even get near enough to listen to her heartbeat. We talk for a while about Ivy’s constipation issues, and the Dr. gives me some advice about increasing her fiber intake (ground flax seed in her fruit purees. She also said feeding her avocado every day will help her become more regular. Which is good because Ivy loves avocado.
Then come the vaccines. Oh the needles are huge and Ivy at this point doesn’t even want the Dr. near her, so we’re back to freakin out. Her whole body goes red she is screaming so hard. Then they inform me they have to take blood. I picture the little heel prick and that tiny tube they used when she was an infant. Then the nurse busts out all the gear and I see the little plastic tie, the 2 vials and the big motherfreaking needle they are going to stick in my little girls hand. The nurse is instructing me on how to, uh restrain Ivy as she ties the little plastic thing around her arm. It’s pink and has flowers on it. Once the needle goes in all hell breaks loose. Ivy is thrashing and screaming and “Wow!” says the nurse, “you have a strong little girl here”
Finally, it’s over. The nurse has her two viles of blood and Ivy is sufficiently worked up. In fact I have never seen her so upset in her whole life. She is sobbing and hyperventilating and every time she starts to calm down a bit, she looks at the bandaid and gauze on her hand and starts again (I know, right?). The cutest part is, as the nurse is walking out she says ‘Bye-Bye’ to Ivy and Ivy stops her crying long enough to wave and say ‘Bah- Bah’. But as soon as the nurse leaves it’s back to crying. I eventually figure out we are going to have to leave the office to make this crying stop, so I somehow get iVy shorts back on and we’re off. Jon must have had the forsight to know Ivy would have a rough ass time because he brought a favorite teddy bear in the car that morning. As soon as she’s strapped in to the car seat and cuddling teddy, she passes the fuck out for 2 hours.