My internal dialogue on the N train this evening

Oh, that’s awesome scumbag just push past the pregnant lady so YOU can get that open seat. Stellar fucking chivalry bro. Yeah, that’s it, now stare at the wall so you can pretend not to notice my pregnant ass.

Let me move to the over here…maybe someone there will actually be a good person. Oh really people I know you are NOT too absorbed in your iPhone game, Twilight book or newspaper to notice that I’m pregnant. Oh, see that? my belly’s moving – I bet my daughter is envisioning kicking you because you’re such an asshole. Seriously? Doesn’t anyone notice this baby belly? I am wearing a tight shirt today for fucks sake!

Oh Jeez check out hipster boy and his girlfriend ….too into to each other to notice the damn pregnant lady. Wait…he caught my eye! “Here take my seat” “Thank you”

Thank you dude who I just two seconds ago pegged as a hipster asshole. Thank you very much you have just restored my faith in humanity.

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