Wordless: The Coolest Kid in the Park

Epic Playgroup Meltdown

Last week, I decided to take Ivy to this playgroup that someone from my parents email list has been organizing at the Recreation Center in Sunset Park. I thought Ivy might enjoy some time chilling with the other kids, and some of the kids we know from our playgroup this summer occasionally go, so I thought it would be nice to run into their parents. So I got ready to go, despite the fact that it kind of was scheduled during her nap time. But her naps have been so unpredictable lately and for several days before she hadn’t been napping until about 2 anyway. So we headed over as she seemed not at all tired and pleasant enough.

But that all changed, as in order to get to the room where the playgroup was help, we had to march through the basketball gym which, at the moment contained about 40 + screaming kids aged 8-10 years old. So by the time we navigated our way through that mess, ivy was already crying. She calmed down a bit when we got into the room, but started freaking out when I went to take her out of the stroller. She kept pointing to the door saying “Mom – Bye Bye?” When I asked her if she wanted to play with the other kids she yelled “NOOOOOOOO BYE BYE” and then went into a total screaming, panting, tantrum. Sadly, I didn’t know anyone there and most of the little ones were babies. Like, I think the oldest was 9 months – the rest were doing tummy time. One of the moms took pity on me and came over and tried to help calm Ivy down. Sadly, this didn’t help at all. The rest of the moms and nannies there were kind of giving me the stink eye, and by this time the rowdy older kids were out of the basketball courts so I decided to take Ivy out there and see if I could calm her down. She did calm, but when I took her back into the playgroup room she started up again. Except for the nice mom-who I think was the person who organized the playgroup- and another mom with a super little baby I was totally getting looks from the others. It was at this point I decided playgroup was a bust and lets just get out of here. I thanked the nice mom, who apparently wasn’t at all phased by the yelling because she said she hoped to see me again soon and that they were trying to get a later afternoon time of day for a 2nd playgroup. It was at this point that I felt like turning around to the rest of the group and yelling “JUST YOU WAIT YOUR KIDS ARE ALL CUTE LITTLE BABIES NOW BUT SOMEDAY THEY WILL BE TODDLERS AND YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF DEALING WITH THE SCREAMING“.

Ivy was totally crabby for the rest of the day and I’m going to go ahead and blame the day before the full moon because everyone else I know who has a toddler also experienced a very meltdown filled day. It could also be teething as Ivy is cutting her top two canines right now, and although the bottom two came through without much fanfare she has been really rubbing her top gums and chewing on things, so there’s that.

Wordless: At Least it Stopped Her From Screaming

This Will Probably Come Back to Haunt Me x 1000

Jon and I decided since only soppy fools go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day that we’d opt for the less popular Valentines Breakfast out. Ok, actually, it had nothing to do with Valentine’s we just wanted to go out since it was so nice out. Jon suggested we go to Chipshop which I was totally down for because who doesn’t love a good English breakfast? But as it turns out, they only serve it on weekends. Since I’m not a huge fan of their fish & chips and plus I wanted breakfast, we decided to go elsewhere.

It was getting late, and any place that was serving breakfast was turning over to lunch anyway so we settled on a regular old coffee shop. Ivy was happy to get in the high chair (she’s not always) and we quickly ordered as I was dead set on french toast. Not long after we sat down another couple came in with their two kids, a toddler about Ivy’s age and a girl who was probably around 4. As soon as they sat down, the little girl was tearing apart the little vase of flowers that were on their table, and the toddler was standing on his chair ripping the heart decorations off the wall. We got our food and started to chow down, while the noise at the table behind us escalated and suddenly the manager was there, taking the flower arrangement off the table, as the toddler had now snapped the plastic heart off it’s stem and the little girl was pulling all the petals off the flowers. He walked away with it, and the little girl started to scream. The manager went back to the table and said “I’m sorry but they broke the heart and were messing up the flowers” and the mom said to the manager ” Well, she’s crying now because she says you ruined everything – we live next door and come here every day and have never had a problem before”.

At this point I almost choked on my french toast and couldn’t resist the urge to tweet ‘I know it’s naughty but we r having one of those “our kid is such an angel compared to your little hellian” moments. The mom’s reaction made me not feel so bad about being proud of my little lady who was happily eating her eggs and occasionally pointing up to the decorations to say “ART” (she has not yet mastered the H). I mean really lady? “A problem” The poor guy was just trying to preserve the flower arrangement for the rest of the day. Just because you’re shelling out some money for a burger and some pancakes does not give your children free reign to do whatever it is they please. Because you patronize a place all the time that gives your kids the right to rip shit apart and tear decorations off the wall? Seriously?

Like I said, bitching about this woman and her unruly kids will probably come back to haunt me and someday I will be the woman with the terror children while somebody and their angelic child sit there happily enjoying a meal out. But I’m pretty sure I won’t try and justify my kids behavior the way that woman did. As one of my friends once posted on her Facebook picture of a onesie for sale in Park Slope that said ‘Have your nanny call my nanny’ -I love you Brooklyn but sometimes you make me throw up in my mouth a little.

A Much Needed Day Out

Yesterday, after having a mini-breakdown in the morning (that’s a whole other post) I decided that, despite the fact the temperature wasn’t even going to pass the freezing point we were going out. I needed it, Ivy needed it, so it would be.

I decided to go to the Aquarium, since we have not yet been, and it’s pretty close (in Coney Island). I packed a bag, bundled us up, and got in the car. Of course, Ivy fell asleep in the car, so as we got closer I stopped in one of the ‘scenic view’ parking lots under the Verazano Bridge – which always makes me feel so Saturday Night Night Fever – and let her nap away while I did some emailing from my phone and cleaned out all the garbage from the passanger seat of the car. The Aquarium is only like 20 minutes away and she fell asleep 10 minutes in so I knew she needed to nap a while so that she wasn’t a cranky pants. So she woke up just as we were driving down Surf Ave. Of course being winter, parking was a piece of cake and we found a spot right in front of the Aquarium.

The Aquarium was really fun – Ivy wasn’t a huge fan of the seals and sea lions, even though we got to see them during their feeding / play time with the trainers. She was totally scared of the Sharks (I don’t blame her!) and shook her head no the whole time we were looking at them – even when I tried to show her the sea turtles that shared a tank with them. The part she really enjoyed was the huge fish tank in the center. We sat right in front of them, and once she got over thinking the fish were going to charge right into her she was laughing and pointing and yelling “More fish!!”. I really liked that they have a lot of little interactive things to do at toddler level, like a little wheel you can spin to show how a fishes tail moves and a little exhibit of fish and sea shell textures. She loved it so much we had to go through twice so she could say bye to all the fish.

After that, we went to the original Nathan’s

Amazingly it still sort of looks like this. Ivy had some chicken fingers and I had a hot dog with that red- onion sauce on it. It was nice to be there in the winter, mostly because in the summer it’s so insanely busy that you can’t even get near it let alone put in the time it would take you to get a hot dog.

We got home and were both in much better moods. Ivy slept like a champion. I’m considering buying a membership to the Wildlife Conservation Society which would give me free admission for 2 adults for the Aquarium, the Prospect park Zoo and the Bronx Zoo, as well as parking passes. It kind of seems like a win- win to me.

Can’t We Just Hibernate for the Rest of Winter?

I was trying to comfort myself today by looking up the exact date of the Spring Equinox, but that didn’t help as it’s not until March 20 – and in this day and age that Equinox doesn’t necessarily mean warmer weather. I know when I say that I am so over winter that those in the Northeast can agree with me.

Things that are especially annoying me right about now? First and foremost: cabin fever. Surviving last years bad weather (which wasn’t nearly as bad as this year) didn’t seem as diabolical as this year. Ivy was still a little bub that was easily entertained, not the rambunctious toddler with the high pitched scream that she is today. Try as I may to keep her entertained, sometimes nothing will do. And the weather’s been so incredibly horrendous recently that other indoor places that might entertain her, like the Aquarium or, you know, Target, are inaccessible. Between the snow/ freezing rain and sub-zero temperatures I have had little motivation to pack up Ivy and leave the house. Our playgroup, which used to meet in the park is all but defunct (though I am thinking of hosting a playdate at our apartment just to give us something to do). The park, even if I did want to brave the arctic conditions is pretty much frozen over, with only a few of the pathways clear enough for us to make our way through.

Another thing making me want to move to a tropical climate: the old frozen dirty snow and garbage piles. Those who have ever lived in or visited NYC (ok, Brooklyn – Manhattan is pretty cleaned up) know what I’m talking about. Piles of snow that are blackened on the edges by lord knows what, with the edges surrounded by trash like plastic bags, black banana peels and god knows what else. In this category would also be the soggy dog crap- because for some reason people think just because alternate side of the parking rules are suspended due to snow so is the curbing your dog law.

I think I must just be suffering from that disorder that happens when you don;t get enough natural light or something because I have been seriously cranky. Today despite the fact that it was like 25 degrees out, we bundled up and went for a walk – we were only out for 20 minutes but the fresh air did us good, no matter how arctic it was. And on the way home, I saw a sight for sore eyes that made me think I can probably make it though until Spring:

Look closely. Do you see them under those dead leaves? That little bit of green? It’s some sort of bulbs bursting out of the ground. In my mind they are saying “Screw you Winter we are ready to pop out! Spring is on it’s way!!”

Wordless: Trouble in 3….2….

Isn’t Spongebob a Gender Neutral Cartoon Charachter?!?

Over the weekend I was in a Rite Aid looking for a Valentine card for Ivy. I saw among the cards Spongebob and thought – perfect! Ivy loves Spongebob. Except when I picked up the card and read it it was all “A Valentine for a great son” and I was all wait, what? Kind of annoyed. Why did they have to single out this card for a boy? On further inspection of the rest of the cards, I found the “Daughter” card which featured Hello Kitty and a lot of glitter.

Now, I get it, some little girls would go bonkers over Hello Kitty. I mean Ivy even likes Hello Kitty but she loves Spongebob, and I’m sure there are little boys out there who like Hello Kitty so really, why did Hallmark (or American greetings or whoever made the dumb cards) have to single it out like that? And aside from the two cards the rest of the kid cards were just kind of dumb with some generic puppy or flowers. Needles to say I didn’t buy Ivy a card there.

And it’s not like I’m freaking out because they didn’t have a card for my daughter with, oh, I don’t know, a truck on it. I mean this is Spongebob, there is nothing about him that makes me think “Oh, Spongebob is for boys”. And, while a world that offers cards for little girls with trucks on them would be great, a world where something as unbiased as Spongebob is labeled for “boys” just makes me want to punch someone.

Tattoos and Art and Stuff

A ton of my friends have been getting tattooed lately, making me really start to itch for some ink. Funny enough, before even saying anything to Jon, he turned to me the other day and said “You really should get tattooed soon” so we are starting to think about what’s next, though I am thinking it’s high time for more flowers, and possibly a little plant life to honor my daughter. So we will begin brainstorming about what and where and hopefully I will get to go under the gun very soon.

In the meantime, a friend recently dug up this video via You Tube that was made after an event that Jon and I put on while I was working for Alex Grey involving some of our friends who just happen to be some of the most amazing artists out there.

This event was kind of a precursor to the show that my husband is putting on in Asbury Park, NJ, the Visionary Tattoo Arts Festival. If you are in the Northeast I strongly encourage you to join us. It’s 3 days of fun, art and the beach. Lots of fun stuff for the family on the boardwalk too!

Really Stupid Commercials

Last week I got to participate in a focus groups for Downy fabric softener. Aside from the $90 pay for an hour incentive, it was kind of fun. We got to fondle t-shirts – one designer and one a $2.00 shirt washed with Downy – look at a storyboard for a TV commercial and print ad’s for this new improved version of Downy. Needles to say my opinion differed from the other women in the group so I hope the people who were watching us via webcam took my thoughts into consideration.

Last night I was sitting around watching TV and trying to think of something to write about when this stupid commerical came on, and I figured I’d write about dumb commercials that annoy me.

The commercial in question was for Chase bank. There’s a woman doing yoga and get an alert on her cellphone that her balance is low, and with a few simple clicks on her smart phone, she’s transferred funds. All well, you know, doing perfect yoga poses. Now my annoyance with this comes straight from the fact that if you were in a yoga class (which she is) with a cell phone out, I doubt the instructor would let that fly. Also, who is really that obsessed with their freaking bank balance that they can’t let it wait 1/2 an hour until their yoga class if finished?

The top most annoying commercial in the world has got to be those stupid Yoplait commercials. All of them. People! Yogurt is not cake or pie! I especially hate the ones with the husband and wife. Where they go on and on about what kinds of “dessert” is in the fridge only to reveal. OMG! It’s yogurt!! But, the all time most annoying Yoplait commercial is the one where the lady goes to her cleaners to get her pants taken in, then goes on and on about eating crap like Boston Cream pie and the cleaners all “So you want these taken out?” And there’s like a minute of “No, in” “You mean out?” “No, I was out and now I’m in” and by this time, I have changed the channel lest I smash the TV. To add insult to injury, Yoplait yogurt tastes like shit. Seriously. Give me Stoneyfield or Fage anyday over that crap. Hell, I’d take Danon over Yoplait at this point.

These two are my top two most hated commercials, but honorable mentions will be given to: The Honda Mr. Opportunity commercials; the slogan “Choosey Mom’s chose Jiff” whcih seems to have been recently “upgraded” to have a little arrow after mom’s that says ‘and Dad’s’ because OMG stop the press men eat peanut butter too and they might even make a sandwich for their kids – what has the world come too ?!?!; and those schmaltzy Kay jewelers commercials that come out around Christmas, valentines and Mother’s day. And, I’ve just gotta say the stupid Geico Gecko is starting to wear thin as well.